Ya’ll, I think I am going to make it. Today, I took all 3 kids to two different grocery stores to buy food for our women’s retreat this weekend (think a LOT of food!) and we all survived (I am sure my voice wasn’t calm and even keeled at all points, but we survived none the less). Last week, I managed to get a shower while at home with all three kids by myself.
Every mom to be, or even mom that is thinking of having more kids, asks other moms of multiple kids “Which transition was the hardest for you – 0 to 1 kid, 1 kid to 2 kids, 2 kids to 3 kids, etc.?” I know I asked that of many, many people and got many different answers. If I were asked that, I would say that 0 to 1 was the hardest for me – it flipped my whole world upside down and I had to learn how to handle a newborn, deal with not going to work like my husband was continuing to do every day, and deal with sleepless nights. 1 to 2 was not hard for me at all – it just required me to balance things a little better. 2 to 3 – it hasn’t been that hard, but just super exhausting and it feels like there is always something to do and someone that needs you. But to actually feel like I am starting to thrive a little, and not just survive, is a beautiful thing. Granted, that is how I feel at this moment in this day – ask later today or even tomorrow and you may get a completely different answer :).
Blake is doing much better! He has had a followup from the hospital appointment and his two month appointment in the last week. Both appointments went really well and the doctors were amazed at how well he was doing. The doctor even confessed to us that the ER docs thought he was going to have to be intubated in the PICU. Thankfully, that never happened, and they say his lungs sound great. The congestion could last for another month, but nothing to majorly worry about. He has his two month shots which led to a fever for two days, but thankfully, this time we knew what the fever was related to and that is was temporary.
One thing that has been reiterated to me through all of this – God totally knows what is going to happen and provides you with what you need. We had received quite a few larger, special monetary gifts at the end of the year and we were blown away by how the Lord was providing from crazy, crazy sources. Like people that we didn’t know sending money to our ministry and us having to track down how they had even heard of us. It just reaffirmed to us that He had, apart from our plan, created Blake’s life and kept him safe through all the pregnancy complications – and if it was His plan, He would provide ALL we need for him, financial and otherwise. A total lesson for us in how nothing was in our control, really.
Then, the hole in his heart happened, RSV happened, and the hospital happened. As we were sitting in the hospital, we were praising God that money to pay for the visit wasn’t something we had to worry about because the Lord had provided some and we knew He would provide the rest. He KNEW what was going to happen and would provide. When we got home from the hospital, we had another special gift from some very sweet friends to go towards our hospital bills. Then, I received an email this morning about another special gift and we got an email last night from some former students who now have jobs and want to support us monthly. Ya’ll, BLOWN AWAY by how generous and gracious the Lord is toward us. Is this real life? I deserve death, and yet he lavishes me with good gifts. I mess us daily, and yet he extends grace and favor. And that’s just the money side of things – he has provided abundantly through meals, people watching and helping with the girls, encouragement, prayers, etc, etc.
To be honest, I was hesitant to share this above – partly because we still need more monthly support to be fully funded and partly because I know there are some of my friends who are struggling financially and I always want to be sensitive to that. At the same time, I feel the Lord deserves the praise for what He is doing and to not give Him that would be an injustice. I also know the Lord allows us to go through trails to bring us closer to Him and this is one thing I have seen the Lord teach me through it all. How special it is to know that God gives not based on what we do or don’t do, but because He is our provider and He knows what we need before we even need it.