Truth. Life isn’t always glamorous, even when you live in NYC. Truth. As much as I never like to say “Life is super busy”, ours lately and in the foreseeable future is just that. Truth. I didn’t want to write a blog post but I have committed to myself to not go MIA for more than 2 weeks.
So, here I am. Tired. Stressed. Worried. Feeling distant from Jesus. Uninspired to post.
It is like April 1 for an accountant – sprint to the finish time. We are finishing up the year on campus and planning for the fall. It is less than 2 weeks away from our large NYC Metro Vision Dinner that I am doing the finances for. It is less than a month away from the beginning of our Summer Mission for which I am also doing the finances for. We had two guys drop out recently, the hotel is holding us up to every penny on our contract, and we are having to make big budget cuts to stay in the black and not start the project out in the hole. There are so many ugly feelings that come from this that would be too much mess to write. I found myself saying tonight “I just want to be a mom – just a mom”. I have been learning so much about myself in the last few years and one thing I have learned/am learning is this – when I hear myself saying that (because most days I love the responsibilities that I have taken on with ministry AND being a mom), it is a huge red flag that my anxiety level is too high and my activity level is too fast and I need more Jesus.
So I will post these sweet pictures of my kiddos – Blake playing at the park (at a fun play date we had with a friend) and Brynn sitting in an American girl doll desk (which isn’t made for her but shhh….don’t tell her), because mostly, my kids right now are a great reminder from the Lord that life is SO much more than deadlines, contracts, numbers, and breaking even.
And lastly – would you pray? Pray that God gives us favor with the hotel. Pray that we have wisdom about what needs to be cut, that no other students drop off, and that students are able to raise the support they need for the summer. Pray that even in the midst of a busy schedule, I will slow down, enjoy sweet moments with friends and family (we have lots planned this weekend!), and spend time with the Lord being filled up so I can pour out.
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30